In what has become a requirement to be a Democrat politician, it was revealed this week that Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown, formerly House representative, who is running for reelection, has been delinquent not one, not two, but three times in paying his taxes on his DC condo.
"I didn't realize paying taxes was something Democrat politicians were required to do, particularly on time. I thought my buddy Tim Geithner was going to take care of that bill for me, if you know what I mean," he explained, winking mischievously, in a 2:00 a.m. sparsely attended Friday morning news conference.
Senator Brown ended the conference with a flourish, effusively thanking the reporter who had reminded him that his current tax bill was unpaid, and that since this is an election year, "it might look bad" if yet another Democrat didn't bother paying the taxes that he or she wants is so eager to increase on everyone else.
The two reporters at the conference surrounded him, clapping him on the back. Brown then escorted them to Dunkin' Doughnuts, where the waiter later reported that they bought him breakfast.
When FNC reported the news at a 7:00 a.m. broadcast, Brown's office issued the following statement: "This is old news. As usual, FNC is just dredging up the past in an attempt to discredit the Honorable Senator Sherrod Brown, who takes great pleasure in paying his taxes to help the poor and the children of this country."
Note from our lawyer: We did not actually hear Senator Brown say this reimagined incident. The 3 time delinquent tax payments, however, are true.
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